It Takes Time

    This has been a difficult week because of Barney's passing. I walk by his cage and I still want to talk to him. I still want to hear him rattling his water bottle and wheeking the way guinea pigs do.

    I cleaned his cage yesterday and washed all of his bedding. It's painful to see his empty clean cage. I haven't told myself that I am getting another guinea pig. But I ordered a lot of new guinea pig cage accessories. That's a pretty good indication that I will probably get another little baby. I placed a cardboard box in the car in case I find a guinea pig at the local pet store. 

    But I haven't said that I'm getting another guinea pig.

Mourning and Loss

    For the first time in six years, I didn't buy parsley and grape tomatoes when I did the weekly grocery shopping this evening.  And that's because the one who would eat them, my guinea pig Barney, has passed away.

    He was my first ever guinea pig. He could've been my 20th and I still would feel this loss.  I miss him. He was a sweetie and would make those Tribble sounds when you petted him. Sometimes he would even lick my hand. I told myself those were kisses.

    I miss hearing him rattle around in his cage, getting a drink of water. I miss talking to him every time I passed his cage.  I don't know if I'll get another guinea pig. I'll have to think about it. That will be easy to do for the foreseeable future. He won't be easy to forget.

America: Making Things Difficult Just Because

    Last year I had some problems with the hospital's billing department. First they said they had to charge an additional fee to see the nurse practitioner and my insurance wouldn't allow the fee to be passed on to me. Then they said they didn't know how to bill a standard office co-pay.  This hospital has the same computer system as several other hospitals in the state and I am not the only one with this insurance. So, I was skeptical enough to decide to find a new primary care provider who didn't have an office associated with the hospital.

    Fast forward to the last couple weeks. As I will need a refill of my medication at the end of March I started 6 weeks early to switch to a new PCP. You would think 6 weeks would be enough to have my medical records sent to the new PCP and get an appointment scheduled.  My medical records haven't been sent over to the new PCP yet and it could take up to another two weeks. So, to make sure I don't run out of medication I had to make an appointment with the nurse practitioner I'm trying to leave. That's going to be a fun appointment. I didn't do what she told me to do last year and I skipped the 6 month check-up appointment.

    The good thing about wearing a mask all the time, I'm starting to not care about looking like a goofball since no one can tell who I am when I'm wearing the mask. So, maybe I'll have some new confidence when dealing with the nurse practitioner this week. It's a shame that the whole authority figure thing is fed into your brain when you're a kid, and you become brainwashed to think the doctor, or nurse practitioner in this case, is someone you have to listen to and obey.  It's especially important to assert yourself when thanks to the internet you can fact-check the instructions and advice the medical professional gives you.